| horrific day |
[04 Feb 2010|09:25pm] |
so. this day has been a day of karma.
it all started this morning, when I had to park on the west side of the stadium to avoid getting a parking ticket, since today is a game day. however, it is very crowded over there, and I had to resort to squeezing onto the end of a long line of cars parked on a curb. technically...I wasn't even in a spot. I was breaking the law, and I knew it. but I parked there anyway, since I was running late. fully expecting to have a parking ticket when I got back, I was pleasantly surprised not to have one.
so off I drove, merrily.
then.
I went to get gas at walmart. I filled my tank. when I tried to start the engine...my key wouldn't turn. it wouldn't budge. it was like I had stuck my key into a cement wall and tried to turn it. this had happened to me before, but I have always just jiggled it a little and it would start. not this time. I had about 10 guys try to help me, out of the goodness of their hearts, which was sweet. but it reminded me of the sword in the stone, it just wouldn't budge, no matter who tried it.
called my roommates, called AAA, and waited for a locksmith to show up to maybe unstick it.
whilst all this is going on, I had a text from two hours previous.
From: Chris Anderson
The cops are doing a drug bust on Delt. scary but entertaining to watch people freak out.
then I got another as my car fiasco was going on
From: Chris Anderson
Looks like I'm going to jail for possession. They are letting me call my parents and then they are taking me and the rest of Delt in.
WTFFFFFFF
apparently his brothers had an ecstasy lab downstairs in his apartment. so while my boyfriend was being held in a van with SWAT as they busted the ecstasy lab, I was waiting for over 2 hours to get my car towed in the freezing cold. but at least I didn't have a parking ticket.
THANKS LIFE
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[14 Jan 2010|08:57pm] |
to make things simple in describing this semester, I will make several references to harry potter in this entry.
my seminar for human bio should be really interesting this semester. it is all about AIDS, and the instructor is British. but he lived in Alabama for a few years so a random "y'all" will slip out of his articulate mouth.
this instructor is like what I would imagine James potter to be like, what with the dark unruly hair and glasses. human biology itself will be more interesting as well, since it is all about human death.
organic will be hard as expected...but I like the professor and I've had her before, it's at 10 as opposed to 9 or 8am, and I know lots people. should be manageable. professor reck is like professor sprout. flyaway hair, robust way of speaking, but with a little tenderness.
3-D art...is actually my least favorite class. I really could care less about wire/plaster/wood sculptures. I like drawing, exclusively. that's the kind of art I have always liked. I am not going to be an artist when I grow up, and this class just takes so much time, and it feels so useless. it just irritates me that everyone in that class takes it so seriously, like it really means something. while I have homework on AIDS and real-world applicable subjects sitting and needing to be done. but nope, gotta stay in this stupid class and make dental admissions people think I'm well rounded. now don't get me wrong, I love art, but when I am being told to make art in a medium I don't like surrounded by people who take the class way too seriously, it is irritating. I feel just like Hermione when she was forced to sit in Trelawney's divination class. I just feel as though there is so much I need to do that is more important than being in that class for 3 hours.
for the instructor, I have no harry potter reference, only the fact that she looks exactly like my mom.
gender/sexuality is a people watching class. WEIRDEST types. I am fascinated more by the roster than the class. there was a girl sitting in front of me who I swore was a boy until she spoke and said her name was amanda. another woman who was about 45 years old, with a hoop earring in one ear, and a huge diamond in the other. the class itself has the potential to be interesting, but at the same time over-hashed. it seems like the discussion is going to be alot of "The media portrays women as sex symbols, it's so unfair, why is that? etc. etc." purlease. the instructor reminded me of mrs. weasley. friendly, bubbly, but very harsh when need be.
molecular biology will be a chore, up there with organic, and the professor thinks he is some sort of celebrity. reminds me of the shamwow guy mixed with Gilderoy Lockhart.
I have had a case of the sniffles for the past two days, but I feel fine so it's not the flu. hello, niquil.
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[10 Jan 2010|10:57pm] |
am I excited about this semester? I was. not so much anymore at all..
I don't like being sad. well, I don't think anybody does, but really. I'm at the sad point where I'm not sad enough to cry, but I'm too sad to be normal or happy. I miss Chris. I just miss him and miss him. spending every hour of every day with someone is quite a bonding experience. the time went by so incredibly fast. the day I left, all I could think about was the day I arrived. how I was just so happy I had 24 days with my favorite person. it felt like a week.
I cried in the airport. in the plane. in the airport again when my plane had something wrong with it and we had to switch planes. and in the new plane. and when I got home, I cried some more. now I'm better. I haven't cried at least. I haven't really felt much of anything. I'm just sort of bored now.
my apartment smells wonderful. I was expecting it to be stuffy and stale, but no, it smells like a fresh new apartment. like when we first moved in. and everything is so clean for some reason. all of my papers from last semester were scattered on my floor, and I was so happy to just chuck them all in my closet. now then...organic chemistry. ugh.
it was nice to see my family for less than 24 hours before I drove back here.
my cat has gotten fatter in my absence, which made me happy. kind of
EDIT:
Andy got a snuggie. I was rather alarmed when he came downstairs wearing it. he says the design is flawed because his backside is completely exposed and cold. to which I reminded him that a normal fleece bathrobe would be a better investment than a wtf blanket.
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| barbies |
[10 Dec 2009|10:25pm] |
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Sushi by Kyle Andrews |
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I was just wondering to myself: if I had access to a big box of barbies and a bunch of little girls, would I be able to join in playing with them (not in a molester way)? like, could I do it? it used to be so easy when I was little. I wouldn't have to think about liking barbies. I could play by myself or with others. would I be able to do that now? I almost don't want to know the answer. I want to think that I could just pick up where I left off, but...
I found out today I can't somersault anymore. I can...but only if I'm really careful, and on carpet. we were playing simon says at binford, and simon said to do a somersault. and I couldn't, so I lost. it made me really scared. so when I got home I tried to do a somersault. I got really, REALLY dizzy, but I did it. once.
anyway, on a less negative note, I am extremely lucky.
a list of my luckiness:
I totally forgot when my psych exam was, and I skipped class the day we had it to work on this ridiculously hard lab report. I found out that I could skip that exam, so it wouldn't affect my grade at all. I also got a B on my lab report, which I thought I would get a D on, at best.
I didn't do my chem homework, but wasn't penalized.
I didn't do my prelab, but found out I could drop it.
I went to the library to wait for my chem lab final which was at 6:50pm. at 7:34 pm I checked the time, realized what time it was, and dashed down to take the exam. by all rights, they should have refused me entrance and not let me take the exam, but they did. and I had no penalty.
after this event, I walked outside into the bitter night of snow and wind, and an A bus pulls up right as I step outside. not only should the buses have stopped going by then, but it was also the exact bus I needed at the exact time, and he waited for me to run over to it.
these are just academic incidences. there are SEVRERAL more, which are more profound, but I don't feel like listing them all. the point is, I should have dropped out of chemistry by now with my track record. but this lucky streak is just...making my life work. I think it's karma from stopping that girl from crying.
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[04 Dec 2009|12:50pm] |
my cat is stupid. I love her, but she is just an idiot. the other night it was raining and icy cold, and my dad kept calling for her to come inside the garage where it was warm. she never came.
the next day my dad went down the the shed, and when he opened the door, there she was. now really...this has happened three times now. once she was in there for two weeks. DOES SHE NOT UNDERSTAND THAT THE SHED IS BAD NEWS BEARS?
a little girl was crying about her dead cat yesterday at Binford, and so I sat down and talked to her about gin ju dying. she slowly stopped crying, and I got her to play hopscotch with me. when I left she gave me a big hug and a little smile. I feel amazing about this.
I'm thinking more about what I want to do with dentistry. I love working with children. I'm thinking I can set up a practice that specializes in pediatric dental care, like the Kool Smiles place, only not as ghetto. I was talking about it with my parents, and they think it is a step in the right direction. I'm working so much with children, I might as well make it look legit on a resume by saying I was to specialize in pediatric care, which I wanted to do from the very beginning when I still wanted to be an MD.
I'm also going to interview for the hoosier dentist club here, which, whaddayaknowit, sponsors events that educate children about dental care. right up my alley. not to mention they set students up with internships.
my grades shall be verrrry nice this semester =)
Chris is planning something special for when I visit. I want to say candles...but I don't want to get my hopes up. I freaking love candles.
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[16 Nov 2009|05:13pm] |
In the life sciences library, I really should be doing my lab reports as they're due tomorrow. it amazes me how much I'm not worried about this.
my weekend getaway with Alba Iris Rivera (I am in love with her name) was lovely. I ate lots of fruit salad and coffee, and saw Purdue's campus for I believe the first time. it's actually pretty in its own way. it actually feels like a campus, and I didn't see anyone wearing ugg boots. but no, I am a liberal arts major. although they do have this marvelous shop there called Vons. it's full of rickety book shelves and beautiful rocks.
speaking of all things Abby, I am most likely living with her next year. I do love copper beech but...I don't like coming home to my roommates partying. it kinda blows. I sound very antisocial but it's the last thing i want to deal with after a day of class and exams.
also...I'm really, REALLY mean to drunk people. I treat them like utter scum. whenever any of my roommates are drunk, I just say the most awful, sarcastic, snide comments and I just act like a complete bitch. they don't remember any of it the next day so it's an odd sense of release. I really do get pleasure from it. is that bad?
I've found a solution to my parking ticket dilemmas. they finally attatched a game schedule to my most reecnt ticket, so now I shall park at the college mall on those days. it's not so bad really. it's alot less crowded on the bus.
after I post this, I am buying tickets to orlando. I'm really going to see Chris in a month. But I'm not going to think about it until I'm actually getting on the plane. oh god, yes I will. we are going to have the whole delt house to ourselves for 3 weeks since everyone else will be gone for christmas break. mischeif will brew. I think we'll go mattress sledding for the lack of snow.
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[09 Nov 2009|03:27pm] |
thanks to facebook, some of you may be aware that I got yet another ticket. let's just leave it at that. I also have two exams on wednesday, one of which I may fail. and I failed a chem quiz. but! on the bright side, I can drop them all. I think. let me say something to all you non-science majors....kinetics and thermodynamics are not as big of a bag of laughs and fun as they seem.
our hot water has been a little finicky lately, and so I have become accustomed to the art of spongebathing. it's a rather sensual experience, actually. I have one pot of hot water, and one pot alone with which to wet, later, and rinse my entire self. and yet I manage to do it, because I am boss. however, I wash my hair with cold water. I hear it's better for hair anyway.
we had to keep a food diary for human bio a while ago, and it turns out I eat alot of chocolates. I buy chocolates every single day at jordan. two is average, 3 if I'm feeling jovial or panicked. and, like socks wever, I eat pumpkin pies whole. and I'm losing weight. what are you doing, body?
speaking of chocolate, I have a fun pack of chocolate pudding awaiting me in the cupboard.
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| You're my favorite chickabiddy. I'm your only chickabiddy. |
[06 Nov 2009|08:17pm] |
schedule time.
Monday:
10:10-11:00am Organic Chem.
11:15am-12:30pm Human Bio.
2:30-3:20pm Organic Discussion
3:35-6:35pm 3-D Studio Art
Tuesday:
11:15am-12:30pm Molecular Bio.
4:00-5:15pm Human Sexuality
Wednesday:
10:10-11:00am Organic Chem.
11:15am-12:30pm Human Bio.
3:35-6:35pm 3-D Studio Art
Thursday:
11:15am-12:30pm Molecular Bio.
1:00-2:15pm Human Bio. Discussion
4:00-5:15pm Human Sexuality
Friday:
10:10-11:00am Organic Chem.
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[02 Nov 2009|11:36pm] |
this is where I live. come and paint with me! it shall be a weeklong affair.
creepers not welcome.
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[02 Nov 2009|05:21pm] |
it looks as though I shall be staying at CB next year. I mean, that could all change, but Diane and I were just talking about it and it looks like the only one of us who is unsure is Kelsey, because her other friends might be moving away. which reminds me, I should be more social.
I'm painting my room this week. Thursday I believe. I don't really know what color I would like,but I was thinking either really light or really dark. I have never painted a room before, so if you would like to help me, or know anything about painting rooms, please lend me your aid.
November 20th is the New Moon premiere with Abby, and I'm both excited and sickened with myself.
spring semester schedule is going to look something like...
molecular bio
organic chem
human bio (II)
human sexuality
3-D studio art
I'm kind of happy about it for some reason. I'll feel like a real hardworking student, taking real hard college courses.
I bought a new deep violet nail polish, called Bewitching Bordeaux. it is gorgeous.
I'm a bit frustrated that my mentoring hasn't begun yet (swine flu), nor my tutoring(elementary school fall break), but that should be resolved in about a week.
this Christmas I shall, in all likelihood, be spending Christmas and New Years in Orlando with Chris, my one true love. I'm very happy about this. as many of you know, my family is very lazy and nontraditional, and so we never celebrate holidays. however, his family DOES. so I'll have like 3-4 days of good old Christmas time, and then about 2-3 weeks of good old Chris time. I want a proper new years eve kiss.
my parking ticket has still not been refunded. buttheads.
oh! and my butterflies have all hatched. they're very magical, as expected. although they all hatched at the same time, so my experiment went completely nowhere. time to fabricate some data.
oh yes, and this.
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[08 Oct 2009|02:42pm] |
I had an insanely realistic dream last night. we were putting on a play, not a school play, but more like a professional musical in this really beautiful old theatre. it was about the disney princesses and the wizard of oz combined. cast of characters:
Me: snow white
Sarah: sleeping beauty
Alexa: Belle, and sometimes a clever witch
Elizabeth White: Cinderella/Rapunzel (since she is so good at acting, she got to play two parts simoutaneously)
Brooke: another clever witch, and I think at some point one of the princesses
and then there were all these people from our senior year english class helping backstage, and doing grocery shopping. Kelsey was like the backstage leader, and I think Lindsay was the composer. well Sarah and I didn't know our parts, and we asked Elizabeth to tell us what to do. she told us, and when the curtain came up sarah got it right but somehow I ended up in the seats instead of onstage. fortnately I made it back to the stage for the second scene, which consisted of me in this oversized Snow White dress singing karaoke to tila tequila's "I love you" (which is one of the skankiest stupidest songs ever conceived by humans)
I'm really in a strange mood, left over from this dream. I feel a bit mentally violated. especially since when I went backstage everyone was puking for no reason.
PS: this is the song I was singing, in front of a very large crowd. now you will understand why I feel so violated and ashamed of my subconscious.
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[03 Oct 2009|01:58pm] |
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Is It Any Wonder by Keane |
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I really don't know why, but I still have recurring dreams about working at frank's place. last night I wasn't actually working, just dining there with a big group. the boss was a bitch, the food was terrible, and I spent most of my time sneaking into the kitchen for some reason, wathing the people cook. another part of this dream involved Lindsay, but I can't remember what it was, only that I woke up thinking Lindsay was mad at me and that I should avoid talking to her for a while. the last part of this dream was that I had to care for a disabled boy who was very rich. I picked out a bunch of frilly designer baby clothes for him, and then everything went dark, and it was like the end of the world.
and yet, with all that, I'm in a pretty good mood today. I finished my chem lab report, and now I have to start on my human bio one. I was thinking the other day as I was walking to class that wow...I'm a real college student. I'm in the middle of it, I'm here. I'm going to look back on this moment when I'm 40 with all the knowledge that I don't have now, and it will be surreal. there are things I will want to tell myself, and other things I will want to keep a secret until they happen. I remember when I was 7, holding Sophie my bunny and telling her that I would not stop loving her until college. at the time, college seemed so incredibly distant that I didn't even know if I would ever get there, let alone 6th grade. I feel rather strange, that I can remember that and still feel like a 7 year old girl.
in other news, for a while I was flailing in my L113 bio lab (not the one I have to write a lab report for, a different class entirely, which I will have to write a lab report for next week..ugh) but then I got my latest lab back with a B. thank you god. the same day he handed out a hefty extra credit quiz. oh thank you thank you thank you. I'm pretty sure I have a very solid grade in that class now, a good one.
I went on a cleaning frenzy yesterday, and I love it when I get in those moods because I feel so good about myself afterwards. my room is fresh and clean, vaccuumed and nicely scented with the plug in freshner glowing in my outlet. my family is visiting next weekend so I just have to keep it this way for a week. I'm actually looking forward to seeing my family. I kind of want to visit home, just to sleep in my bed again and eat something other than spaghetti for dinner. oh, which reminds me.
I want crab legs Sarah Wever!!
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[08 Sep 2009|08:38pm] |
I still have yet to do the whole taking pictures of my apartment thing, as my camera cord is missing and I am unenchanted by the alternative "use my laptop to take photo stills" notion.
list time!
1) I applied to a place called Calendar Club, which is this sensationally useless shop selling like...calendars and stuffed giraffes. I thought I wouldn't get a job this year since I made bank this summer, but now I just kinda want a job...I miss working and having a purpose.
2) chocolate pudding has now been replaced as my leading fave snack by dried crystallized pineapple
Call me Professor Slughorn, but that old walrus was right. they are delectable.
3) I've made a vow never to eat from a fast food place that sells hamburgers again. mcdonald's, burger king, wendy's, etc. something in me just kind of stood up and said, "No. it is bad food for you. There is no nutrition value and that is the reason you are so tired and weak in the middle of the day. This ends here." so, no more. today was my last one. I had a sausage egg and cheese biscuit, hashrounds (haha), and orange juice. sayonara. forever.
4) bath poufs work better than bath gloves
5) and finally, I may be spending Christmas in Miami. every hoosier's dream
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| Warning, this entry probably does not make sense |
[18 Aug 2009|04:00am] |
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two clocks ticking off sync |
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I woke up at four thirty this morning. when did I go to sleep? hell if I know.
it feels like I've come home from korea again, getting used to this jet lag feeling.
thursday was my last night and honestly...I did cry. no...I bawled. my manager Tim was sooo nice. he saw I was about to break into tears so he walked me to the door and along the way gave me some sagely advice. well, since he's 20 perhaps it wasn't very sagely, but maybe a little thymey. anyway, those managers were amazing. I was called everything from "the sweetest thing on two legs" to "a bright, intelligent young woman" by them as I left, and even Brenda (part time suspected lesbian, part time bitch extraordinaire) gave me a hug and said she'd miss me.
when I got to my car, I lost it. I haven't cried that hard in a long, long time. I texted Chris, and he called me to calm me down. we talked for about two and a half hours, at five in the morning mind you, until he had me laughing again. sigh. I love him I love him I love him.
on sunday Diane, Andrew, Kelsey and I moseyed (mosied?) on down to bloomingtonto do the inspection on our townhouse. it was quite nice, just minor things...oh yeah, and Kelsey's toilet was lying on its side, a hole in the floor where it should have been. but that should be fixed by the time we move in next week. my room is a delight. cozy, spacious, and with a closet big enough for me to do somersaults in.
after getting a fill of CB Diane and I went to Steph's house to swim and try to savor the last bit of summer. it was nice to spoon a dolphin floatie for a couple of hours and chat about medical school.
today I'm going out with Andrew, Jenny, and possibly Aaron to see The Time Traveler's Wife =D afterwards it is going to be a shopping extravaganza. I have a shopping list and a credit card, so I think I'm pretty near obligated. when my materialism wears out, I'm going to go to walmart to visit my old chummlie wummlies. even though drama may ensue when I see Jacob...my secret admirer. ugh. and three times ugh. I'll just scram when I see him.
the rest of this week shall be spent packing and throwing away all of my screen tees, since I can't stand them anymore and find myself wondering how I ever liked that fashion trend. I officially move in on saturday, and I think I will be the first of my roommates to get there. so I shall be, once again, all aloney on my owney. poor poor Joanie.
man, I loved this summer.
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[07 Aug 2009|06:33am] |
it's been awhile since my last post, about a month to be precise.
as the summer solstice draws to a close, and the shelves begin to fill with decorative squashes and floppy scarecrows, I would just like to take a moment and say that this has honestly been one of the best summers of my entire life. lots of things have happened since I last posted, but I don't feel like typing them all out. I've even been involved in some drama this summer. but I still can't shake the feeling that I'm letting something precious go.
even though I have been pretty much deprived of a social life from the traditional friends, I realize that I have not really been deprived at all. I've actually done some really fun things outside of work with people from work that I probably would not have done otherwise.
the friends I have made at work have been some of the best people I have ever known. every day is a good day, because every day we are together. it made me realize how close we have all become when zach and aaron left tonight. it was worse than graduation, on the sadness scale. especially since I realize that hey, I am never, ever going to see these people again. after the remodel is finished, they will all go off in different directions. school, different states, different countries even.
I am actually almost dreading going back to school. I don't think I can form the kind of relationships I have formed this summer. it's like no others could measure up to what I've found.
my last day is next thursday night, and I am truly not looking forward to it. not that I have ever had a bad breakup, but it feels like how I would think a bad breakup would feel like. sadness, and that missing feeling.
I know one thing, and that is I am never going to forget this experience.
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| "Gimme that damn thing, you don't know what the fuck you're doing."- Chris Gebby |
[03 Jul 2009|06:37am] |
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Thriller by Michael Jackson |
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this post is mainly going to be a shout out of sorts.
to Alexa: I had a dream about you. you and I were lounging at your house, and for some reason Cassie Edwards was asleep on a couch. you turned to me and said, "I know something really sneaky we can do, and no one will ever catch us." so then you pulled out this collar with razors on it and began to behead Cassie Edwards in her sleep. soon she was totally beheaded, and you started reading a fashion magazine. I was horrified, naturally, but you just said, "Relax, no one is going to catch us. we just need to hide the body so my dad doesn't find her. He's a cop now, you know." then we had a delicious feast and I held cassie edwards' head in my lap as we ate.
oh yeah, and I miss you and if it makes you feel better, I will not be going to a harry potter premiere either. we can suffer in silence. =)
to Lindsay: I probably will not get a chance to call you since my schedule and sleeping patterns are so screwed, so I will list out the pros and cons of working at walmart, night shift remodeling (if that is what you are being hired for)
cons-kind of sexist environment, since the managers and guys treat all the girls like we're suffragettes or something.
kinda inconvenient hours if you still want to keep mcdonalds.
not a flexible schedule...at all.
I can't really do anything social-wise since I am always working or sleeping.
the work itself is pretty hard. lots of heavy lifting and manual work that makes you work up a sweat.
pros-decent pay. night shift is 8.20 and day shift is 7.20
even though the work is hard, sometimes confusing, and a hassle, it is easy.
the people, though sexist, are really nice and fun to work with. it is really like a family. not to mention Zach Tobias and Chris Gebby work there. along with d'andre and bret ailes, but mostly I hang around the former two. believe me...Chris Gebby is the reason I want to go to work. he makes up for it all.
so the final conclusion is this: I like working at walmart, and I think you would too, as long as you drink some coffee
Sarah Wever: sorry, it seems every time you call or text you wake me up or I am at work. I really do want to do something! (I also still have Helen's grad money...she WILL get it...oh yes, she will)
Brooke: whoa deja vu for some reason. anyway, d'andre told me you came to creep all over me the other night. sorry, I was busy with the yarn section, it was a fright. it would have been nice to rub shoulders with you again though =)
I think that is all for shout outs.
today my family is going canoeing without me.
last night they made ribs and fried rice and sat around a fire in the back yard while I slept. they keep doing all these fun, wholesome family things behind my back. it kinda makes me wonder...what kind of shinanigans do they get up to while I am gone? here I am bringing home the bacon, and they keep creeping off to be merry together. is it like this when I am at college? are they always so fun to be around? I feel like the proverbial son, except it is the family that is turning it's back on me. how dare they enjoy their summer, while I am not particularly.
I have little to no social interaction at this point in my life. a wild time for me is surfing facebook at 6:30 in the morning, pretending like I have something to check. heh heh...
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[22 Jun 2009|02:31pm] |
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Shrek-the part where Fiona sings to the bird |
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doing laundry on one of my first days off in a month. I just took a glance, and the water looks really really dirty for some reason. it's like a little piece of the mississip is in my house. or that one yellow river in china that was on sagwa.
my beloved mother is returning home in three days time. she has many pressies for me. like clothes that have inane english and lurid colors. and a dress. I really miss her. my dad's idea of dinner is to make colonial eggs. my dad and brother decided to get eight dozen eggs because they were cheap.this is how you make colonial eggs. first get a skillet the size of your face or larger. second, pour half an inch of oil into said skillet. then put as many eggs into the pan as you can until the pan looks as though it will overflow with cholesterol snot. and then you just let it stew. flip it over a few times, and when you are done it looks like a mutant huge chicken breast, nicely browned but still with hints of white. and all the yolks clustered in the middle. gag. I am so sick of eggs.
as for things I am not sick of: cookies. since I am now officially nocturnal I have much free time on my crafty hands. I bake cookies. peanut butter is my specialty. I am really turning into an exemplary housewife. which brings me to my next subject.
babies. I want to have a baby, simply put. not now, of course, but I am feeling a bit like captain hook, incessantly followed by that ticking clock. if I see a nice looking baby, I want to snatch it away like a gypsy. I don't know what is wrong with me. if I were to have a baby right this moment, I would be absolutely horrified and lost but in theory, a baby just seems like such a wonderful concept. speaking of babies and all things reproductive, my human disease professor once said something very enlightening. the male ejaculatory duct is basically a pez dispenser, able to hold about 25 "candies" every 24 hours. which is very smart of nature to do. I found it to be interesting, never having thought about it before.
this bleeds into my new quagmire of doubt. what am I doing with my life? I don't think I want to be a dentist anymore. I never gave too much thought to the financial aspect of it. you basically have to be an entrepreneur to run a practice, and deal with HMO's, etc. I am not interested in that. I have always been a follower. I like someone to tell me what to do so that I can mindlessly obey. I am a robot with flesh. a terminator, if you will. a terminator who works on teeth in an office setting.
I really do not know how I will get into dental or hygiene school. you have to be stellar. I am good, but not stellar. I am thinking for a few years I will train to be a dental assistant and intern, apply every year, and just wait until it happens. it usually takes 2-3 years before most people get in. sigh. winning the lottery sounds great. I bet most people are pretty excited when they win the lottery. unless it the town in the novel The Lottery, in which case they would die.
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[12 Jun 2009|08:58pm] |
so working with candice shelton as my manager is not as awful or degrading as it sounds. I mean, I make more than her, and that is saying something as I am making less than minimum wage (or it seems like it). I saw austin rumple today also known as chicken little. although now he is more like chicken medium. he has grown, the little tyke.
my inner clock is all screwed as of late. I have no sleeping schedule. according to my calculations, I have slept an average of three hours a night since tuesday. I feel kind of lightheaded and euphoric, in a really horribly exhausted way.
since andy is at summer camp and my mom is in ye olde koreae, it has just been me and my dad. when I got home, my dad was just taking a huge pan of bubbling babyback ribs out of the oven. one of the best sights to ever greet me after a day at the grind. limeade and habanero sauce makes the perfect marinade.
I cannot remember the last time I showered. I think it was yesterday, but it is so muggy that I could put the sweat in sweater. or sweat shop. or sweatmeats. wait, no.
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[05 Jun 2009|10:14pm] |
...I love walmart. why have I never worked a night shift before, I ask myself. it is a lovely time to work, because there are no customers and the entire staff is just college students and a big black man named Otis, who is the black version of Catfish Suttlebee.
screw fazoli's, and hard. how could they have been so horrible this entire time? I never knew work could be like this, I have been so blind. there really is such a thing as literate managers and structure and organization. at last, at last. I feel as though I am truly happy with my job. also, they called D'Andre's name at the beginning of the shift. I did not see him, so I am wondering if he works night shift but it could just be one of the many other D'Andres running about. and Brett Ailes works with me. blast to the past. we did the whole 0_0 then >_> thing.
I want my mumma.
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[03 Jun 2009|09:29pm] |
Oma is in Korea, and shall be until the 25th. I miss her, far more than I expected. she is having fun though, going to bathhouses and beaches and mountains and so on. eating real, delicious authentic Korean food. with my fun cousins. they are all in high school now, which is a very, very weird thought as the last time I saw them they were just out of kindergarten.
nobody on here knows who Blake Batchelor is except perhaps sarah (kinda pudgy kid, in boyscouts, nice, kinda funny) but he died the other night in a car accident. I really, really feel awful. this is probably the worst I have ever felt about someone I know dying. usually when someone I know dies, I just feel shocked, but never really sad. this time...I feel terrible. I remember talking to Blake and kidding around with him, my brother talking about him. he was so curious and just a happy kid. and so nice. he was the type that would go up to the parents and introduce himself, without having to be reminded. he would talk to anyone, never shy or unsure. and so mature for a kid his age, almost like a dad. I don't know. I guess I just feel this bad because I actually knew him well and enjoyed knowing him, which is quite rare for me. it makes me think about life. it is so incredibly fragile. he was only sixteen, about to start junior year. his little brother now doesn't have a big brother. when his mom and dad are old and wrinkled, all they will have are memories of their young, dead son. he is never going to have kids, or get a job, or graduate. he's been stopped. it's so surreal to me. I just had to say something about this, as I have been thinking about it for a good part of this day.
orientation was today, and I think it will be alright. I am going to work full time during the week and then work the weekends at fazoli's, just because I don't want to burn my bridges and I cannot bring myself to quit something that I have invested so much time in just yet. I won't go through all the minute details of working at walmart, as I am sure no one (firmly including myself) really cares about the inside workings of a department store. suffices to say...I am the only girl working night shift. I am surrounded by men constantly, and yet I am not very happy with it. I miss my mom.
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gogo_____yubari's journal